Best Monday ever

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Two of my favorite comforts after surgery.

So about my surgery…

I had every girl’s favorite doctor appointment at the end of October.  I’ve been having a lot of on-again-off-again cramping since Cricket was born, and Thumper’s arrival only made it worse.  Intimacy has been difficult, to say the least.  When I went to the doctor, they did an ultrasound and found that I had a cyst on my right ovary.  My doctor wanted to keep an eye on it, so I scheduled a follow-up appointment in early December.  That ultrasound showed no cysts.  Yay!

But then a couple days after Christmas, I started cramping again, and it was worse than ever.  I was dizzy from the pain, and sweaty and queasy to boot.  I tried walking, I tried lying still, but nothing eased the pain.  The only reason I got any sleep that night was because I took some Tylenol PM.  I cramped all through the night and most of the next day, then I was sore for two days afterward.  It was miserable.

I managed to get an appointment with my doctor the Monday after Christmas, hoping he would be able to do something about the pain.  A third ultrasound revealed two 5 cm cysts on my left ovary that hadn’t been there a few weeks prior.

Discussion followed, and I have never seen a doctor look quite so confounded.  Despite the risks, decided it was probably best to get in there and find out what was going on (or at least take care of the cysts).  Surgery was scheduled for the seventh, and then my insurance company completely dropped the ball.  Apparently, their standard review procedure takes two weeks, but my surgery was scheduled one week ahead of time.  No one from my insurance company relayed that information to my doctor’s office, so by the time they found out about it and enacted the expedition procedure, it was too late.  My insurance company didn’t approve the procedure till the day after it was supposed to take place, so I had to reschedule it.

If you’ve ever tried to line up early morning daycare for four kids, you’ll feel my pain.  It wasn’t just my schedule that was screwed up; my mother-in-law’s was as well, since she was coming up to look after the kids.

The operation was supposed to take an hour.  The plan was to remove the cysts on my left ovary in addition to as much scar tissue from repeated cesareans as possible.  But when they got in there, they found another cyst on my right ovary that hadn’t been present during my last ultrasound.  When they tried to drain the cysts, I started bleeding and they were forced to take out both ovaries (as well as both fallopian tubes).

I’d resigned myself to the possibility of losing one ovary, because my doctor had warned me that it was a risk, but I hadn’t expected to lose both of them.

Yay menopause.

The day before surgery, we had an open house and a piano recital.  As I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to straighten things up last-minute, Murphy’s Law kicked in (we were late to the recital because my mother-in-law had blocked me in and got stuck trying to unblock me, so naturally, Miss Tadpole played first and we missed half of it) and I made the remark that at the rate things were going, I’d be in menopause by that time the next day.

Apparently I should have kept my big mouth shut.

I’ve been trying not to think about it.  I fail at not thinking about it.  And yet despite all the not not-thinking-about-it I’ve been doing for the last week, I don’t think it’s truly hit me what happened yet.  I haven’t really dealt with it.  I mean, I’m not even thirty yet (till tomorrow, anyway) and I’m in menopause already?  This shouldn’t be happening, but it is.  Right now, I’m just taking it one hot flash at a time and wishing to God that I didn’t have to.

But if wishes were horses, then beggars could ride.

My now-defunct ovaries were promptly sent off for testing last week and, despite the fact that the results from said testing were only supposed to take three to five business days to return, I had heard nothing from my doctor concerning those results.  So I called them yesterday.  Turns out they hadn’t yet received the full pathology report.  However, they were able to tell me that I DO NOT HAVE CANCER!

Let me repeat: I DO NOT HAVE CANCER!

I don’t know when I’ve been so excited to receive a phone call from a doctor’s office.  This was a HUGE load off my mind, as my grandmother died of ovarian cancer just over a decade ago.  I’ll get the full report next week at my post-op appointment, but for right now, I’m happy with this news.  To recap: no more ovaries, no more cysts, and no cancer.

Yesterday was a damn good day.  Best Monday ever, in fact.

P.S. Hot flashes suck.

(c) 2014.  All rights reserved.

Published by Kay Kauffman

A geek to the core, I reside in the midst of an Iowa cornfield with my husband and four children. When I'm not chasing the kids every which way but loose, you can find me penning fantastical tales of great heroism and twue wuv...and possibly procrastinating online.

28 thoughts on “Best Monday ever”

  2. Lisa L Wiedmeier says:
    Reply

    I started perimenopause in my mid 30’s Kay, and wished I’d had every female reproductive part removed! Would’ve been a heck of a lot easier to deal with then what I’ve been through. You’re on the road to recovery now, and cancer free. Hopefully this part of the the journey will be a little less painful for you. Have a hot flash on me. 🙂

    Like

  4. Sophie E Tallis says:
    Reply

    So, so happy you’re through it honey and have been given a clean bill of health. What a relief!!! You must be dancing! Well, at least you must feel like dancing. Sorry about the hot flushes though, that’s not great I bet, but so so great to be cancer free!!! So happy for you kiddo! 😀 xxxx

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  5. M T McGuire says:
    Reply

    The menopause is not so bad. I mean, yes, I’d lay bets the hot flushes are pants but no more periods? That has to be win-win right? So buckle up sister and keep your eye on the prize.

    If it helps, one of my flat mate’s friends had an early menopause at 28. She Had to look at hrt for keeping the right balance for calcium absorption to keep her bones strong. There are various forms of exercise that are good for that, too, doing weights and resistance training, I think but numb nuts here can’t remember for sure.

    Delighted to hear it’s not the big C. These last few months must have been well scary for you. You must be very pleased it turned out ok. Although I know I’d feel pretty shell shocked, too.

    Cheers

    MTM

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    • Kay Kauffman says:
      Reply

      The hot flashes really do suck. But you’re absolutely right about no period – that is definitely something I won’t miss. 😀

      I’m looking at HRT, too, and I think I’ve decided in favor of it. I hadn’t thought about hormones affecting calcium absorption, but I did know I’d need to start drinking more milk than I currently do. It’s not that I don’t like milk, it’s just that the kids alone go through a gallon a day (I wish I were joking) and it’s not cheap. But I don’t need any broken bones, so I guess that means I need to increase the amount of milk money in my budget. My ex-father-in-law is a personal trainer, and he’s extolled the virtues of weight training for improved bone strength for as long as I’ve known him.

      The last couple of months have been…something, and I am definitely happy for the results of the surgery. But shell-shocked is a great way to describe the rest of it. Perfect, actually.

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      • M T McGuire says:
        Reply

        You will be shell shocked but it’ll pass. Milk is great with chocolate in it or whizz the old black bananas that no-one’ll eat into it with a blender for an epic smoothie…. And eat yogurt and cheese…. I’m not sure whether they go big on cheese where you are but there are over 700 different typed of British cheese and over 600 types of French cheese so we are pretty spoiled for choice over here! Phnark.

        Yeh… And the weights are good. I go to this special gym for fat middle aged women and we all do weights. 🙂

        Not surprised you’re floored. The shock of the op will be enough.

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        • Kay Kauffman says:
          Reply

          Chocolate syrup + warm milk = best hot chocolate ever. It’s also probably remarkably bad for my teeth…And my waist…Oh, well! 🙂 And I loooove yogurt. I seem to have trouble remembering to eat it before it expires, though.

          Holy cow, that’s a lot of cheese! We don’t have a ton of variety around here (mostly mozzarella, cheddar, Monterey Jack, colby, and parmesan (the grated kind for topping spaghetti)), though I have my eye on some crackers and vegetable cream cheese for the Super Bowl this weekend. I may not watch the game, but that doesn’t mean I can’t partake of all the yummy snacks! 🙂

          I have a pair of five-pound dumbbells at home that currently have a lovely layer of dust on them. I also have two toddlers that occasionally work better, when they’re not struggling to free themselves of my grip, that is. I’ve never been a fitness junkie, so having an actual need for it now is going to be a big adjustment. I would much rather just be a couch potato.

          And the operation has definitely been a shock. I’m used to being down for weeks after surgery (three c-sections), and I was back to work in three days. But since I was expecting one result and got something completely different, it will definitely take a little getting used to.

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  6. Daphne Shadows says:
    Reply

    WOW! That was a lot to take in in a few paragraphs. And even more to digest in a few days. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. I’m so glad you’re doing better! Menopause is SO MUCH better than cancer.
    I saw the first lines of your post and panicked! I’m sure you’ll deal with menopause with much stubbornness and success. I do hope “other things” are going better as well now that the cause of the pain has been removed. 😉

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    • Kay Kauffman says:
      Reply

      Right? I have too much cancer in my family, so I’m relieved that I can cross this one off my list of things to worry about.

      I’m sure you’ll deal with menopause with much stubbornness and success.
      This made me laugh, because stubborn is my middle name. 😀 And I sure hope those other things you referenced will be better – if not, I’m going to be very put out. 😀

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