It

Fear is more than just a dirty word.

It chills my hands, my feet, my chest. It sends shivers up my spine, ripples through my core. It freezes me.

It clogs my throat. It keeps me from speaking, from singing, from breathing. It keeps me from thinking, from doing, from being. It immobilizes me.

It radiates from my center, permeates everything around me. It destroys my confidence. It debilitates me.

Fear controls my life.

Somehow, I have to fight it. Somehow, I have to overcome it. Somehow, somehow, somehow…

With a name comes power. Now that I know the name of this unspeakable and overwhelming foe, I can defeat it.

I have the power.

Fear had better watch its back.

(c) 2017. All rights reserved.

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Winds of Change

Late winter winds bring
With them signs of change, a shift
In temperatures,

A promise of warmth
And joy and fun in the sun
And good times to come.

Yes, the winter winds
Bring with them change, and gladly
Is that change received.

(c) 2017. All rights reserved.

Internal Monologue

Go on, then, smile.

Come on – give us a smile.

It’s not that hard. See? You just part your lips a bit. Show off those pearly whites.

What do you mean, you don’t feel like it? You used to smile all the time. You were the smiley girl.

What do you mean, everything’s changed?

Come on – give us a smile. It won’t hurt. You can do it – it’s not hard. You might even like it.

Go on, then, smile. For old times’ sake. Just smile.

(c) 2017. All rights reserved.

Sailor’s Promise

His smile was full of promise,
And his eyes were full of cheer,
And I smiled each and every time
That he would hold me near.

His arms were full of strength
And love was on his lips,
And even though he longed to stay,
He left me for a ship.

But soon – so soon, he said –
He promised he’d be back,
And with pockets full of gold, he said,
“I promise I’ll be back.”

Long days and nights I waited,
As summer gave way to fall,
And once I thought I saw him down the
Dock, standing straight and tall.

But when his ship returned,
My smiles came to an end,
For though he’d sworn to come for me,
He’d met a watery end.

Full fifty men he’d saved, they said,
But he did not survive,
And though I longed to hold him close,
I could not death contrive.

That night as I lay sleeping
In my bed so soft and warm,
I saw my brave young Danny boy,
And he was safe from harm.

“I love you,” whispered I,
As I held him close again,
“And I wish that things could be once more
The way they were back then.”

“I know, my love,” he whispered,
“And share your wish do I,
But it was my time to bid farewell.
It was my time to die.”

I woke with tears upon my pillow,
As they streamed freely down my face,
And I know there’ll never be a one
Who can truly take his place.

I’ll miss you, my sweet Danny boy,
Each morning, noon, and night.
I’ll see you soon, sweet Danny boy,
When I turn out the light.

(c) 2017. All rights reserved.

Home With Me

In the snow I see
You marching, proud and free and
Heading home to me.

In the snow I love
You as our passion melts the
Dying winter’s tears.

In the snow I see
You dancing, proud and safe and
Happy here with me.

(c) 2017. All rights reserved.

Clickity Tweet

I love the clickity-clack of high heels on marble floors, especially when they’re my high heels. Wearing them makes me feel very grown up, sophisticated, important. But I also feel like a bit of a fraud. I’ve been eighteen for fifteen years and still expect someone to see through me. Any moment now, someone will see that I have no idea what I’m doing; that, despite my best efforts, I don’t have this whole responsible adult thing figured out at all, not even a little bit; that I’m just a little girl playing dress-up in her mother’s closet. And when they figure it out, I just know it will be in front of a huge crowd of people and I’ll be humiliated, exposed for all the world to see.

I love the simple joy of the sun on my skin on a warm summer day. Alone in a meadow with the sun shining down on my upturned face, it’s easy to forget about the hustle and bustle of daily life. The birds sing gaily, their song carried far and wide by the gentle breeze, and there’s peace. My doubts can’t find me here; it’s just the sun and the birds and the grass and me, and there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be.

(c) 2017. All rights reserved.

The Earworm’s Tune

She could feel it burrowing inside her; the earworm was nothing if not persistent, and it had lodged itself firmly within her brain before cranking up the volume to eleven. Pretty soon, the bright and brassy sound of a new age jazz tune was the only thing she could hear; its rhythm pulsed through her, and she couldn’t stop her toes from tapping along in time. Though she tried – oh, how she tried – to stifle the urge, the day finally came when she could no longer keep from singing; she threw herself up onto the stage and belted out the earworm’s tune, and the thunderous applause made the months of torture worth every minute.

(c) 2017. All rights reserved.