I was asked to speak at my grandpa’s funeral tomorrow.  When I was ten, I spoke at my mom’s funeral and apparently it was a very emotional experience.  I don’t remember speaking, but I’ve been told that I did a wonderful job.  This was given me as the reason my family wanted me to speak tomorrow, but I’m having a hard time coming up with something to say.  You would think that having an extra fourteen years with someone would make it a little easier to find something to say, but you’d be wrong.

Tom already misses him.  He was upset when I told him that Opa went to live in heaven and that someday we’ll see him again, but not for a long time.  Through his tears he managed to squeak out, “Tommy wants Opa,” and all I could say was, “So does Mommy, honey.”  It just doesn’t seem right.

Grandpa was one of those guys that everyone liked.  He was easy to talk to, had a great sense of humor, loved his family.  I miss him so much.  The visitation is tonight; I don’t know how I’m going to be able to go through with it.  I’m tense just sitting here thinking about it and tomorrow will only be worse.

I keep thinking back to my mom.  She passed away September 28, 1994.  Grandpa passed away September 27, 2008.  Mommy’s funeral was September 30, 1994.  Grandpa’s will be October 1, 2008.  The closeness in their dates of death fascinates me for some weird and unexplainable reason.  And yes, I mean the month and day, not the year.  It seems like this is all I can think of lately.  I mean, thinking about Grandpa a lot is reasonable, I’m sure, but my mom?  Drawing comparisons between their deaths is taking things a little far, I think.  And I can’t seem to stop.

I can’t wait to go home tonight and curl up on the couch with the hunnybunny.  I’m gonna need a big hug after tonight.  Hugs rock.

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