June 20, 2013 – Suddenly they all died. The end.

When we’re little, we … dream big. We look up at the stars and we imagine that we only have to grow up in order to reach them. Most of the time, we grow up and never look at the stars again. –Cristian Mihai

Cassiopeia Star trails (Photo credit: weatherphotography.co.uk)

I read that quote earlier this evening. If you don’t follow Cristian’s blog, you should. He writes the most amazing posts. Anyway, as I was reading the post I linked to above, it got me thinking about all the ways in which I used to look up at the stars as a kid. I remember studying them in Girl Scouts and learning all the myths that went with the different constellations. It was fascinating stuff, but eventually, I, too, stopped looking up at the stars. My eyes had turned to the heavens of my own making instead.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to do great things. I’ve always wanted to be a famous author; I can’t remember a time when that was not what I wanted to do with my life. And I’m frustrated right now because as I’ve gotten older, other aspirations have crept in around the edges of my one burning desire, fighting for room to live and grown on their own, leaving less and less time for my passion. It’s not that I’m not passionate about the rest of my life – I am – it’s just that, right or wrong, I feel my time growing small. I feel I’ve not done what I was sent here to do. And I feel like I’m suddenly ill-equipped to pursue my most cherished lifelong dream.

All that said, I’m not giving up. They don’t make ’em much more stubborn than me (except for maybe my kids, but that’s another story :)). Recently I’ve been looking up at those same stars I used to gaze upon as a little girl and I’ve found my zest for this writing life renewed; the drive I thought was flagging has suddenly dropped into a whole new gear I’d never before been aware of. So here’s hoping that somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight, the right agent and publisher are ready and waiting to take The Lokana Chronicles and me under their wing. Mentor me! And help me whip my story into shape, no matter how much I might whine, please. 😀

Keep reaching for those stars, people, whatever your particular star might be.