Pretty Bambi

Pretty Bambi, dear,
Why did you have to run? I
Didn’t need more meat,

But I do need my
Car. Pretty Bambi, dear, why,
Oh, why, did you run?

(c) 2017. All righta reserved.

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Oh, the joys of life in the Hawkeye State…

In honor of the fact that it’s only 8:00 a.m. and already about as far from a stellar day as it’s possible to get, I thought I’d share a favorite joke of mine. If you’re a long-time reader (or even if you’re not), you may have seen this before, as I shared it some years ago. It’s one of those things that’s funny because it’s true, and I hope you enjoy it.

Dear Diary

August 12
We moved to our new home in Iowa. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so pretty. I can hardly wait to see snow covering them.

October 14
Iowa is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful woods and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on Earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.

November 11
Deer season will start soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

December 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like…

Home

Oh, give me a home
Where the paint doesn’t run,
Where good cheer and fun
Last all the day!

Where seldom is heard
A complaining word
And the primer dries
Faster than clay!

(c) 2017. All rights reserved.

Looking on the bright side

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Self portrait courtesy of the movie Inside Out.

According to Facebook’s “On This Day…” feature,  I was having a Leopold Bloom moment on this day back in 2007, and you know what? I kinda want my blue blanket right now, and I don’t even have one.

Well, not a blue one. I do have a striped blanket, though, and it makes an excellent shawl. Why didn’t I grab it on my way out of the house this morning?

Oh, right – because I was too busy being hysterical. At least I wasn’t hysterical and wet.

How’s Monday treating you? Will you go trick-or-treating tonight? Let’s look on the bright side of this Monday together!

(c) 2016. All rights reserved.

Writing

I haven’t been writing, and I miss it.

I’ve watched TV. I’ve read blogs. I’ve come up with a thousand brilliant ideas that quickly vanished into the ether. I’ve played a lot of Pokémon Go (Go Team Mystic!).

But I haven’t been writing, and it’s left a void.

Getting back in the habit is…

First World Problems

Mara Eastern recently described a lousy Christmas, and it reminded me of something similar that happened to me back around Thanksgiving. After leaving a lengthy comment on her post, I thought, “Hey! This might make a funny blog post!”

Thus the following was born. 🙂

Similar to ours

Similar to ours

My husband’s been away for work during the week for the past two months, so naturally, he took a few homey things with him to make his hotel room feel less hotelly. One of those things was our very nice can opener. Silly me, I didn’t even realize it (or our salt and pepper shakers) was missing till he’d been gone for a month and I wanted to have chili. But I didn’t want to spend a whole lot on buying a new one since we already had a really nice one. Still, the craving for chili was not to be ignored. And since I needed tomato juice, too, I stopped at Fareway on my way home from work.

After wandering the aisles for a good ten minutes, I finally tracked down their cooking utensils. They had all of one can opener in stock that night, and at $1.97, the price was just right. Still, I had to wonder about its quality. But a trip to Walmart was out of the question because it would make me late picking the boys up from daycare, so I pushed my doubts aside and headed for the check-out.

canopener

Similar to el cheapo can opener

Twenty minutes later, I’d picked up Cricket and Thumper up from daycare and made it home. It was a blustery night, perfect for chili, and I couldn’t wait to have some. I got the boys in the house, grabbed the beans and hamburger from the basement, and set about making supper. While I waited for the hamburger to thaw, I decided to get the beans opened and drained.

But of course, nothing ever happens easily on a Monday.

I opened the first can of beans without any problems. I daydreamed about the delicious chili I would soon be eating; I could already smell the chili powder and the cooking meat. I could almost taste the soup’s spicy tang. I could almost feel the tomato juice’s velvet touch as I swallowed imaginary spoonful after imaginary spoonful.

But halfway through opening the second can, reality came crashing back upon me. Part of the can opener snapped off as I turned the hand crank. The whole thing fell apart in my hands.

Well, crap (and many other colorful words). Now what the heck was I supposed to do?

Perfect for opening cans of juice, but not so much for beans

Perfect for opening cans of juice, but not so much for beans

By this point, the closest store was closed for the night. I considered using a church key to open the rest of the cans, but quickly discarded the idea. There was no way I’d be able to shake all those beans out of the tiny little holes a church key would make. Even if I could have shaken them all out, it’d have taken all night. Too bad I hadn’t been opening the tomato juice – then I’d have been fine.

*sigh*

Oh, can opener, thank you for not breaking on me!

Oh, can opener, thank you for not breaking on me!

I got my chili eventually, after spending a few more dollars to buy a decent-quality can opener, but I’m still annoyed about the stupid cheap one that didn’t even last five minutes. I hate wasting money like that, even though part of me knew it wouldn’t last. And now that it’s freezing cold here again, chili is starting to sound really good for supper tonight… 🙂

Have you had equipment malfunctions ruin a much-anticipated meal? How did you cope?

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope 2016 is treating you right! 🙂

(c) 2016. All rights reserved.

Blargh

I’ve spent the weekend trying to kick a terrible cold to the curb. It doesn’t help that it’s been terribly cold outside as well. We had our first snow of the season on Friday, and I really could have done without it. The kitties seem to agree with me:

image

George is not amused. Mr. Fluffy demands a return to warmer times.

On the other hand, it was very pretty to look at from my blanket cocoon…

Have you encountered any of the vile whiteness yet? Are you ready for it?

(c) 2015. All rights reserved.

Hay!

It was a busy weekend.  We built a chicken coop and hung gutters and tried not to collapse in the heat.  (I may have collapsed, but not from the heat.)

Still, despite all the busy-ness, I managed to take a few neat pictures of the hay in our newly-remodeled granary/rabbit house/cat house/chicken coop:

2015-08-15 16.53.53

I only wish I could have taken more.  There was a great view from the first floor, but by the time I grabbed my phone, we’d already strung up the chicken wire for the ceiling. 😦

How was your weekend?

(c) 2015.  All rights reserved.