Apparently my kids need to be educated. The following conversation took place this morning as we were about to walk out the door:
• M: Tom, why are you only wearing one glove?
•T: Because I lent the other one to RaShaun.
•M: Okay, well, either you need to wear both gloves or neither of them. Michael Jackson couldn’t pull off the one-glove look and neither can you.
•T: Who’s Michael Jackson?
•R: Didn’t we look him up at your First Communion?
•M: *facepalm* No, that was Michael Jordan. Different guy. Do you know the song “Thriller?”
•M: *epic facepalm*
Clearly tonight’s soundtrack must feature Michael Jackson. I’m not even all that wild about his music, but at least I know who he is. And while I realize that for the course of their lives he hasn’t been the most popular singer, I still can’t believe they don’t know who he is. It reminds me of another aspect of their education that is sadly lacking: the ability to alphabetize.
•M: Rachael, will you get out [random movie whose title I can’t recall]?
•R: It’s not here.
•M: Yes, it is. All the movies are in alphabetical order; just look under [appropriate letter – I think it was L or M].
•R: It’s not here, I’m telling you.
•M: I know we have it. *pulls movie off of shelf* See? It’s right where I said it was!
•G: Hold on a minute. Maybe they don’t know how to alphabetize.
•M: Do you kids know how to alphabetize?
•K: (in unison)No!
Evidently they don’t teach kids how to alphabetize things in school anymore. This useful skill must have fallen by the wayside when they did away with media center as a class. Now that everything is available online, who needs to know about the Dewey Decimal System or how to use a card catalog? (Please to note the sarcasm.) Alphabetizing is for the ancients, much like legible cursive or heck, even legible printing. My kids’ inability to alphabetize was quickly remedied. I’ve not tested it yet, but I do hope they were paying attention. After all, stranger things have happened.
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