Apparently my kids need to be educated. The following conversation took place this morning as we were about to walk out the door:
• M: Tom, why are you only wearing one glove?
•T: Because I lent the other one to RaShaun.
•M: Okay, well, either you need to wear both gloves or neither of them. Michael Jackson couldn’t pull off the one-glove look and neither can you.
•T: Who’s Michael Jackson?
•R: Didn’t we look him up at your First Communion?
•M: *facepalm* No, that was Michael Jordan. Different guy. Do you know the song “Thriller?”
•T: No.
•M: *epic facepalm*
Clearly tonight’s soundtrack must feature Michael Jackson. I’m not even all that wild about his music, but at least I know who he is. And while I realize that for the course of their lives he hasn’t been the most popular singer, I still can’t believe they don’t know who he is. It reminds me of another aspect of their education that is sadly lacking: the ability to alphabetize.
•M: Rachael, will you get out [random movie whose title I can’t recall]?
•R: It’s not here.
•M: Yes, it is. All the movies are in alphabetical order; just look under [appropriate letter – I think it was L or M].
•R: It’s not here, I’m telling you.
•M: I know we have it. *pulls movie off of shelf* See? It’s right where I said it was!
•G: Hold on a minute. Maybe they don’t know how to alphabetize.
•M: Do you kids know how to alphabetize?
•K: (in unison)No!
•M: *facepalm*
Evidently they don’t teach kids how to alphabetize things in school anymore. This useful skill must have fallen by the wayside when they did away with media center as a class. Now that everything is available online, who needs to know about the Dewey Decimal System or how to use a card catalog? (Please to note the sarcasm.) Alphabetizing is for the ancients, much like legible cursive or heck, even legible printing. My kids’ inability to alphabetize was quickly remedied. I’ve not tested it yet, but I do hope they were paying attention. After all, stranger things have happened.
(c) 2012. All rights reserved.
Suddenly they all died. The end. 
Two years ago, my son wanted to be MJ when he grew up. He own a rhinestone glove. I can’t imagine not knowing how to alphabetize! As for what kids learn in school these days, I don’t think my kids have done anything worthwhile in 2 weeks. Once the standardized tests are out of the way, they don’t do anything the rest of the year. *sigh*
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I can’t imagine not knowing how to alphabetize.
I know, right? It never even occurred to me that they didn’t teach that in school anymore. My kids love to read and get books from the library all the time, so silly me, I assumed that was something they had picked up on somewhere along the way. At 8 and 9 years old, you would sure think so, anyway.
I was dumbfounded when I learned they’d gotten rid of media center as a class. Despite how the internet has transformed life over the last decade, it never occurred to me that the things I learned in that class would eventually be deemed unnecessary skills, or at least unworthy of being taught. But if something ever happens that causes computer usage to he severely limited (like say an electromagnetic pulse a la Dark Angel), our kids may wish they’d learned how to do things the old-fashioned way.
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Oh my gosh, I couldn’t stop laughing. =) Your household sounds a lot like mine! I agree. Kids don’t learn anything in school these days… shouldn’t Michael Jackson be in the history books or something? ^_~ (Side note: I introduced my kids to “Labrynth” the other day. Now my kids know who David Bowie is AND they got to see what happens when you wish your younger siblings had never been born.) xD
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okay, clarification: MY kids wish the younger sibling(s) had never been born. =P
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While I’m fairly sure my older kids don’t wish the younger ones had never been born, I’m positive that they wish they didn’t get asked to help with them so often. 😉
As far as confusing Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan, I need to share this story with my cousin. He was Michael Jordan’s biggest fan back in the ’90s and was responsible for introducing my kids to a host of highlight clips from the Bulls’ glory days during Tom’s First Communion reception a couple weeks ago. I’ll have to tell him in person, though, because the look on his face will be priceless. 🙂
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