Well, I’ve done it…

I entered The Lokana Chronicles in the Dundee International Book Prize last night.  Hitting ‘send’ on that email was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I did it in the end and now all I have to do is sit back and wait.  And not hold my breath.

Thus begins my (presumably) soul-sucking journey toward publication because, let’s face it, I’m not sure I really want to go to all the effort it will take to do the self-publishing thing.  I know several people who have done it and are doing so successfully, but I’m not sure that I’m cut out for it.  I’d love to sell my book to a Big 6 publisher, but I’m not holding my breath on it.  I hope I’m prepared for all the rejections I know will come, but I’m also hoping that the stars will miraculously align in my favor and my journey will be a relatively quick and painless one.

No, I’m not on drugs.  Unless sleep deprivation counts as a drug and if that’s the case, then I’ve been stoned out of my gourd for the last two years.  But I’m pretty sure that’s not the case, no matter how much it feels like it is some days.

In other news, after much time spent beating my head against a cyber-wall while trying to format with a nasty cold, my poetry anthology is coming along quite nicely.  Now I just need to get the proof copy ordered and make sure it looks okay.  Here’s hoping!

Also?  Tax season – and Monday – totally kicked my butt today.  Way to go, Monday.

And now, I think it’s time for bed.  Assuming, that is, that I can sleep.  I’ve been having trouble with that lately.  Maybe I’ll just stay up a little while longer and look up people to query…

(c) 2012.  All rights reserved.

Friends don’t let friends eat literary puffer butt

Yes, you read that right: Friends don’t let friends eat literary puffer butt.  I’ve been reading Kristen Lamb’s lovely blog the last couple of days and have found quite a few useful tidbits there, not to mention a couple of laughs that nearly caused me to snort my milk.  I had planned this awesome, thought-provoking post about things from her blog that I agreed with, as well as things I disagreed with, but this stupid cold I have is kicking the crap out of me.  I feel like I’m stuck in a never-ending cage match with…um…well, anyone who’s in better shape than me, to be honest.  The Rock.  Yeah, he’ll do.  He could probably beat the crap out of me with his pinky.  I mean, naturally I hope he doesn’t hit women, but my brain isn’t functioning so well right now, so just take whatever I say with a grain of salt.  Except for that first sentence.  And the second one.  And the next paragraph.  It should be funny.  Seriously, just keep reading, okay?  Okay.

I also enjoy reading Chuck “Writing is when I make the words.  Editing is when I make them not shitty.” Wendig’s blog, especially his “25 Things…” series and his “Transmissions from Baby-Town” series.  The latest transmission from Baby-Town was seriously funny.  Parts of it reminded me of my own kids.  Go.  Check it out.  Unless you are vehemently opposed to creative combinations of profane words, you will probably find it laugh-out-loud funny (yes, I’m old-school like that).

Okay, I should probably get back to editing now.  I’ve been throwing myself upon the Word altar and begging the gods of Microsoft to save my work with obsessive abandon over the last couple of weeks as I try to finish my massive revision project by the end of the month.  I’d love to be done by the end of the week, but I’m not holding my breath.  Anyway, why the rush when I’ve been trying to edit the beast for the last year?  (God, I can’t believe I’ve been editing (or rather, not editing but procrastinating) for a year already.)  Because entries for the Dundee International Book Prize close March 1 and I’ve decided to enter.  Apparently it was just the thing I needed to get my lazy butt motivated because I’ve gotten 24 of my 30 chapters edited since the first of the month.  Now if only I can get the last few chapters done by the weekend, I think I’ll be all set.  I’m not holding my breath on winning, but I’ll never know if I don’t try, and I’m determined to prove the hubby wrong (he who believes I can make a career of writing but probably won’t because I fear failure).  I’m a stubborn one, after all.

So, to recap: Must find more caffeine.  Must edit.  Y’all must read.  Go.  Read.  Report back here.  Or don’t.  Actually, don’t.  Then I won’t be tempted to further procrastinate my editing.  Or do.  Yes, do report back here.  Be my enablers.  Who needs sleep, anyway?  I can edit after the kids are asleep, right?  Right?  Zzzzz…

(c) 2012.  All rights reserved.

Upon further reflection…

…I’ve decided that some details on the books I posted about the other day would probably be a good thing.  So, I’ve got the scoop on all five books right here!

Cheyenne, a Timeless Series novel, by Lisa Wiedmeier
Murder, romance, secrets, and hidden pasts.  Deception from every angle – who’s telling the truth?  Cheyenne Wilson’s life is thrown into turmoil after her adoptive parents are killed in an accident.  With only her best friend Colt to comfort her, she scours through the family archives, hoping to quell her grief.  Instead she begins to unravel the mystery behind her birth parents, and her secret heritage.  She is a Timeless – a being that ages one year for every hundred human years when they reach their twenties – and of the royal line, destined to gain great power.  But Cheyenne has other problems.  The ones who killed her parents want her, too, and Colt is hiding something of his own.  Surrounded by danger and with few she can trust, Cheyenne must face the dark truth of her past and choose between a forbidden love that will forever hold her heart, or her destiny…

Toonopolis Short: Anchihiiroo, by Jeremy Rodden
In Toonopolis: Gemini, Anchihiiroo (aka Han’Eiyuu) is the former hero of Animetown who turns rogue after meeting the devious Shadowy Figure, forcing his creator to change him into a villain instead of the anti-hero he once was.  Yuki, the albino inventor of Wan-Wan, described Anchihiiroo’s background:

“He had a terrible childhood.  He was orphaned at an early age when his parents were killed in a war.  Then his orphanage burned down, and then a flood wiped out the town his orphanage was in.  He was the only survivor.”

Learn the full origin of Anchihiiroo, from his tragic childhood as Yoshi of Higeki to the warrior training that allowed him to put a stop to the Ninja-Pirate War that plagued Animetown.  Witness his relationship with the phoenix Suzaku and his inevitable rogue turn after meeting the mysterious Shadowy Figure.  It is a story about destiny and a young man’s desire to make his own path in the world.

The Myth of Mr. Mom, edited by Jeremy Rodden
The Myth of Mr. Mom is a collaborative non-fiction essay anthology written by stay-at-home dads that shares the personal stories of eight men from around the world.  Filled with humorous anecdotes and eye-opening personal experiences, The Myth of Mr. Mom is simultaneously inspiring and entertaining.

Toonopolis: Gemini, by Jeremy Rodden
Toonopolis is a cartoon city that is home to the thoughts and ideas of all sentient beings in the universe.  As the center of the Tooniverse, it acts as an other-worldly rest stop for these creations.  Gemini is a teenage human boy who is thrust into Toonopolis through his father’s scientific research program.  He loses part of himself in the process and immediately begins a quest to regain his lost memories with the help of his Tooniverse guide, Jimbob the Talking Eggplant.

After an altercation with a mysterious Shadowy Figure, Gemini’s mission is changed and he begins a new quest to defeat Shadowy Figure and protect Toonopolis from his nefarious destruction.  Along the way, he meets new friends, discovers just how diverse and strange Toonopolis is, and learns lessons about compassion, forgiveness, redemption, and being true to oneself.

The Banned Underground, by Will Macmillan Jones
What could be worse?  Having to take a holiday in the (rainy) Lake District in the North West of England with an aunt who turns people into frogs for a hobby?  Or battling the local dark lord, whose attempt at world domination starts with the nearby underground dwarf mansion and its enormous collection of used pizza boxes?  Or getting involved with a jazz-loving bog troll and his dwarfish R&B band?  Or is it being miles from a McDonald’s?  Join the teenagers and find out in this comical adventure where jazz and magic make a tongue-in-cheek laugh riot!

Whew!  I suppose that’s enough book pimpage for one day.  Stay tuned for news on other books!  After all, 2012 is the Year of the Alliance.  The Dark Lord said so.

(c) 2012.  All rights reserved.

Odds and ends

First, I think this cartoon accurately describes the weather we’ve been suffering through lately:

Last night we had a lovely thunderstorm.  Greg and I sat out on the front porch and watched it rain for about half an hour.  It had cooled off so much that I actually got goosebumps!  It was all lovely and romantic and wonderful.

And that’s all I have to say about that. For other topics, follow me!

What will they think of next?

So Greg was checking out the news on msnbc.com today and as I looked at the computer screen over his shoulder, I saw an article about a new drug being tested in clinical trials for use in the treatment of melanoma, which is one of the deadliest cancers out there.  New cancer research always catches my attention since I have so many relatives who have battled various forms of it (most notably breast cancer) and lost.  So I made the remark that I would have to check out the article later, and check it out I did.

The new treatment works by activating a person’s immune system to fight the cancer.  Some of the side effects can be nasty, such as autoimmune disorders, but it also lacks traditional chemotherapy side effects like nausea and hair loss, at least according to the article I read.  By the time I got around to checking it out, there was also an analysis article up that I looked at as well.  While it really only worked for 20-30% of patients who received it, the effects were dramatically better than other options for late-stage melanoma and the drug has the potential to be useful in fighting other cancers.  This news got me particularly excited, since I really worry about getting breast cancer at a young age like my mom did and not living to see my kids grow up.

Anyway, this was such exciting news to me that I just had to share it and I hope if you’ve stumbled into my little corner of the interwebs that you’ll take a minute and check out these two articles.  They’re awfully interesting and I can’t wait to see what medical science will come up with next.  I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on this particular drug and its other potential uses.

Twenty days till June 25…

(c) 2010.  All rights reserved.

Home at last!

Yay, I’m at home!  I love being at home because it’s not work.  I love my job, it’s just that I’m really loving my home-with-the-family time lately.  Also, I’m tired tonight, so it’s a good thing I don’t have to be working right now.  Not that I got much done earlier…

But since I’m feeling particularly whiny about the state of tax season this year, I thought I’d write a little more about my lovely ordeal with the Social Security Administration yesterday.  I know I already said that I was thoroughly irritated with them by the time I got a real live person on the phone, and here’s why:

• 1:46 p.m.  Between my kids, my dad, and the government, it’s been a headache-inducing sort of day, and mine’s a doozy.

1:55 p.m.  It’s official: I really, REALLY hate calling numbers where you have to talk to a recording.  Yes, that means you, U.S. Government.

1:56 p.m.  “Our automated system can handle many tasks quickly.”  No, no it can’t.  Shut up and put me on the phone with an actual person already!

1:56 p.m.  And shut up so I can complain aloud to my coworkers!

1:57 p.m.  AAARRRGGHH!  IT WON’T SHUT UP!!!  SHOOT ME NOW!

• 2:02 p.m.  “Please say and spell your mother’s maiden name.  If you don’t know what it is, just say none.”  Seriously?  Who doesn’t know that?

2:02 p.m.  Yay!  Hold music!  THANK GOD!

• 2:05 p.m.  Okay, so this hold music really, really sucks, but at least it’s less annoying than the stupid recording I was talking to a few minutes ago.

2:06 p.m.  I nearly screamed at the stupid recording when it didn’t understand my name.  It’s a freaking letter!  It’s not that complicated!

2:23 p.m.  But I don’t want to paper file my return!  I think I’ll try to e-file it again (for the fourth time).  Maybe this time it won’t be rejected.

2:42 p.m.  I can hope, anyway.  I really, really hope it won’t be rejected this time.  *crosses fingers*

Yeah, my return was rejected.  Again.  But at least this time I think I know why, and it has something to do with the info I dug up last night that I didn’t know about before, so maybe tomorrow when Randy goes over things again, he’ll be able to fix it and then we can e-file our return and it won’t be rejected and we can get our refund so that we can start doing things around the house again and perhaps I can stop writing in hugely long run-on sentences or maybe not but perhaps.

Also, it’s really cold in here.  Again.  Like it’s been all the rest of this God-forsaken winter.  I can’t wait till June.  On the other hand, I saw this really great Heart of the City strip tonight:

Aunt Melissa sent it home with me for Greg.  He got a real bang out of it.

And now, off to bed!

(c) 2010.  All rights reserved.

Home is where your story begins…

…and we finally have one now!  Greg closed on our house yesterday and so last night was our first night as a family in our new house.  We had a special supper to celebrate: marinated pork chops, green beans, and mashed potatoes, yum yum.  The kids even got to have a little pop, which they were super excited about.  Since we’d been staying with my aunt and uncle and I thought we would be staying with them again last night, I had to run to their place after supper to pick up my suitcase and things took an exciting turn while I was gone.  We had decided to do a load of laundry before I left, so we headed down to the basement with the dirty clothes and figured out together how to run the washer.  At first we couldn’t figure out why it didn’t work, but then we realized it was just unplugged, so we fixed that and thought we were set.  Note: This washer looks like it jumped straight out of 1965.  When I got home from Aunt Melissa’s, the basement door was wide open and there was a funny smell in the kitchen that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.  Turns out there was a reason the washer had been unplugged: the motor in it is bad and the stupid thing started on fire.  So after we wrung out the clothes and got wet because the utility sink next to the washer drains straight onto the floor instead of to a pipe, we went upstairs, made some popcorn, cracked open a bottle of wine, and curled up with The Beautician and the Beast.  But not before Greg made a lovely toast that started off with, “To my beautiful bride-to-be…”  I seem to have forgotten the rest of it (I think my brain has shut down for the week already), but it was very sweet and made my fangirly heart squee like the teaser commercials for the season 4 finale of Bones.  I am so lucky!

Well, I think I’d best leave it at that for now.  More about the new house adventures later!

Four days till September 26…

(c) 2009.  All rights reserved.

It finally happened…

…I finally found a book that, upon rereading, disappointed me.  I just finished Wait Till Helen Comes by Mary Downing Hahn, which I probably read sometime in late elementary school or early middle school (I don’t remember exactly, because it was a long time ago, so give me a break).  At any rate, I think I must have read it when I was at an age to identify with some of the characters.  There’s Molly, who is 12; her younger brother, Michael, who is 10; her mother, Jean; her stepfather, Dave; and her step-sister, Heather, who is 7.  They move from Baltimore to this little country church, complete with graveyard, where Heather happens to befriend the ghost of a little girl who was just her age and even had the same initials.  Both their mothers had died in fires and they became fast friends.  Heather was not overly accepting of her father moving on with another woman, let alone of the woman herself (or Michael or Molly).  Half the book involved Molly, Michael, and Heather fighting and then their parents ended up fighting.  Molly felt like no one believed her because Dave and Jean (especially Dave) always took Heather’s side and after a while, this kind of got on my nerves, but not nearly as much as Dave himself did.  He was always making excuses for Heather’s bad behavior, saying things like, “Well, she’s just an unusually sensitive little girl,” or, “She’s suffered a loss and just needs love and understanding.”  Well, yes, but that only takes you so far in life.  I guess that’s the part that bothered me: no matter what she did that was wrong (and plenty of it was horrible), he was always making excuses for her and he seemed completely blind to the fact that he was being played, that she wasn’t nearly as innocent as he thought.  Now yes, she is just a little girl and yes, this is just a story, but it reminded me of one too many people I know in real life who have that same attitude of, “Well, I’ve suffered a loss, so you all should feel sorry for me and let me have my way” and blah blah blah…Apparently I couldn’t identify with anyone in the story this time around and I actually found myself growing mildly offended.  Isn’t it funny how our perceptions of things change over time?

In other news, we’re off to the courthouse this afternoon to get our marriage license.  Yay!  My aunt is going to meet us there and be our witness and then we’re all going out for supper afterwards.  Her mother-in-law is in town visiting and I’m really looking forward to having supper with her.  She and her husband were like second grandparents to me growing up and I haven’t seen her in a long time, so I hope we’ll have a good visit.  Evidently she was under the  mistaken impression, though, that supper tonight was supposed to be in celebration of my engagement and she didn’t want to intrude, so my aunt had to convince her that she was invited and that she wasn’t intruding on anything.  Besides, anything to celebrate our engagement would have been done a long time ago, like right after we got engaged.  I don’t want her to feel like she’s not welcome because she was the reason I suggested going out for supper in the first place, so I hope she’ll have fun.

Oh, I need some more medicine!  I woke up with a killer headache this morning and it just won’t go away.  I need a pop.  For the headache.  Yes, that’s it, for the headache…

Sixty days till September 26…

(c) 2009.  All rights reserved.

I’ve got sunshine…

…because it’s not cloudy for once.  Woo!

Still feeling rather blah today.  My head finally stopped hurting, thank God, but I’ve been so tired all day that I nearly dropped off at work this morning.  I’ve spent the day gettin’ jacked up on caffeine, so I hope I can sleep tonight.  I can’t wait to watch Bones later, so I don’t know which will keep me awake longer, the caffeine or the lovely t.v. that I’ve been anxiously awaiting ever since I saw the preview last week.  I don’t remember the last time I got this excited over a t.v. show.  Oh, wait, yes I do.  It was back when Voyager was still on.  That’s right.  🙂

Speaking of Star Trek, I was rather disappointed with the new movie.  I loved Chris Pine; I thought he was an excellent Captain Kirk.  And when I finally figured out that it was Jennifer Morrison who played his mom (and not just some unknown Kirsten Dunst lookalike-wannabe), then I was tickled pink.  I kind of found myself wishing she’d been in it more because I really like her.  However, I was more than a little disturbed when they blew up Vulcan and after that, I just couldn’t get into it.  I kept waiting for a Year of Hell-type fix at the end where the timeline was restored and everything goes back to normal – I could have lived with that, even though it would be a cheap fix to a bad plotline – but it never came, and that was incredibly irksome.  Yes, irksome.  Because I can’t think of an adequate swear word.  Also because I apparently write in sentence fragments now.  And the whole thing where they completely rewrote how Captain Pike ended up in the wheelchair and lost command of the Enterprise?  No.  Just no.  I’ll take The Cage any day, thank you.

And honestly, the Romulans?  I was disappointed.  They looked nothing like the Romulans I’ve seen.  Okay, so I haven’t seen all of the original series or even most of The Next Generation (that I remember), but even in Deep Space Nine and Voyager, the Romulans looked a lot more Vulcan than they did in this movie.  These new future-y Romulans looked like normal guys with tattoos on their faces.  I found it very distracting.

All that said, though, the movie had its moments.  Karl Urban was great as Dr. McCoy.  One of my favorite parts was where he kept giving Jim shots and Jim finally had enough and started yelling at him to stop it.  That was great.  I also enjoyed the part with the Spock, Leonard Nimoy, although I must admit that I had flashbacks of Futurama and the episode they did where Melllvar held them hostage on a forbidden planet and held a Star Trek convention.  That was a funny episode.

Okay, so actual work interrupted the posting of this post.  Perhaps that’s a little redundant, but I just finished watching that episode of Bones that I had so been looking forward to.  And now I’m pissed.  I avoided spoilers like the plague for the last six months because after I looked at the story that was in TV Guide – and I shouldn’t have – I wanted to save myself for the episode so that I could fully enjoy it.  Boy, did I not enjoy it.  I mean, I liked – okay, loved – the whole Booth and Brennan together thing.  I loved Caroline being in it because she’s awesome.  The woman can deliver a line like nobody’s business.  And Sweets was pretty good with his little band; the tie-in to Gormogon was kinda funny.  It was obvious that the whole thing was some sort of dream sequence, but when he said, “Who are you?”  Oh, man, if looks could kill, my t.v. would no longer be working.  I think I even startled Greg a bit because he paused the show just before the dreaded words and he said he thought I was going to give birth for a minute.  I didn’t say a thing, but the look on my face was all, “Don’t do that!!!”  And then Booth spoke and I decided I had some writers to kill.  Well, first I need to find out whose idea it was to blow up Vulcan and hurt them and then I need to find out whose idea it was to give Booth amnesia and hurt them.  You can’t fuck with Booth and Brennan, people, it’s sacrilege!  This is even worse than blowing up Vulcan!

*hiss*

I have a feeling I’ll be ranting about this for a good long time.  Like, all summer until the new season starts.  And by God, they’d better fix it.  Or else.  Grrrr…

(c) 2009.  All rights reserved.

Everything you ever wanted to know about running a garage sale

Today was the annual City-Wide Garage Sale in Reinbeck.  We had one.  Needless to say, it was a long week.  We got the garage swept out last Sunday, carried things into the garage Wednesday night, set things up Thursday night, and priced everything last night.  We were up till after 11:00 p.m. every night this week and then I had to crawl out of my nice warm bed at 6:00 a.m. this morning to get the signs put up so people would know we were having a sale.  The city always puts out a map of people having sales and then they have the maps at Casey’s and Trunck’s.  It costs $5 to have your name put on the map, but it’s worth it because then people know where all the sales are.  We paid our $5 and when Greg went to Casey’s this morning to get some pop and a couple of the maps, he discovered that they had left our house off.  So we paid $5 for nothing.  I guess it’s a good thing my signs held up…

So this is how my morning went:

  • 7:32 – I would much rather be going around town checking out garage sales than sitting out here in the blistering cold running my own garage sale.
  • 7:34 – And by blistering cold, I am, of course, referring to the parts of me not right in front of the heater.
  • 8:02 – Come on, people, BUY MY STUFF!!!  See?  Three exclamation marks.  Just buy it.  You know you want to.
  • 8:05 – My policy should be, “If you look at it, you buy it.”  Then maybe I’d get done in time to do some shopping myself.
  • 8:06 – I should have brought my computer out with me.  Then I would be entertained and my lap would be warm.  Yay warm!
  • 8:28 – Hooray!  A sale of some consequence at long last!  Woo!
  • 8:35 – It’s always nice to get repeat customers!
  • 8:56 – Have officially given up all hope of keeping track of items sold.  Managed to get two items on the list before giving up.
  • 8:57 – Am now channeling Bridget Jones.  Must lose weight.  Must also try to forget about yummy Daniel Cleaver.
  • 9:18 – I should have a no smoking sign up.  Someone came in with a lit cigarette.  Yuck!
  • 10:01 – There be donuts in the house.  Why is it that everything yummy is so bad for you?
  • 10:45 – Okay, so it’s not winter-coat-and-coveralls cold anymore, but it’s still darn chilly.  And the lovely heater is making me sleepy.
  • 12:25 – Our heaters died. 😦  Apparently we blew a fuse.  But then it was Greg to the rescue and now the heat has been restored!  YAY!! 🙂
  • 12:26 – My jaw hurts.
  • 12:29 – With my trusty  heater by my side, I’ll never be cold again!  I sorta feel like I’m camping, but without the s’mores.
  • 12:33 – You know, s’mores sound good.  I need s’mores.  Where are all the s’mores when you really need them?
  • 1:01 – Have you ever been high as a kite and then gone garage saling?  Well, my neighbor sure seems to enjoy it!
  • 1:27 – Please, dear high-as-a-kite neighbor lady, don’t come back till you’ve sobered up.  You digging through my knives makes me nervous!
  • 1:39 – Tick, tock, tick, tock…Come on, two o’clock, hurry up and get here so I can close up and do something fun!

It’s amazing what brings out the kooks in town.  There’s an apartment complex next door to our house and one of the tenants came over to see what we had for sale.  “Whoa, it’s like a little store!” she exclaimed upon entering, holding a glass of questionable contents (orange juice for sure, but Lord only knows what else).  “Oh, I love your lamp!  I want this lamp.  I’ll be back for it.  You guys have exactly what I need, I swear.  You really do.  You have everything I need.  I’ll be back.  Oh, I love this lamp!  I want your lamp.”  After several painful minutes of her seriously disorganized (I can’t think of the word I want, sorry) rambling, she finally left, only to return about a half hour later with her rather annoying (and awfully overweight) dog in tow.  She wasn’t quite as high when she came back, thankfully, but still, when she went pawing through the box of miscellaneous knives, Teresa and I got a little nervous (Greg’s mom came up for the weekend and sat with me through most of the sale).  This time, psycho neighbor lady picked up one of a two-pot set (she only wanted the one – they were a buck for the pair), a handful of knives, and a can opener, set them down near the check-out, and went to let her dog relieve itself (hopefully in someone else’s yard).  “But I’ll be right back.  And I really want that lamp, but if you sell it to someone else, you go right ahead, it’s okay.  But if you don’t, I’ll take it.”  Gee, lady, thanks; I’m so glad I have your permission to sell my lamp.  *sigh*  Some people.  While she was amusing in her own “special” way, I wasn’t too disappointed that she completely forgot about coming back to our garage sale.

Greg had to work today, so he didn’t get to enjoy watching the people come and go.  He did, however, rig something up so that we could still run the heaters after we blew a fuse in the garage.  He grabbed his heavy-duty extension cord and plugged it in at the house, then rolled it out to the garage to plug in one of the two heaters we’d been using.  That was nice.  But apparently we must have blown another one in the house because when I sat down to count the take in the dining room, the light wouldn’t turn on.  There’s no way we blew out nine lightbulbs at once, so we must have blown another fuse running that heater.  *sigh*  Oh, well.  At least we were warm.

There weren’t many people out today for the garage sales, not that you would know it from talking to Greg.  Every time I talked to him, he told me about the bumper-to-bumper traffic on Randall Street.  Trouble is, we’re not on Randall Street!  My theory is that people started up on Valley Drive and out in Eastgate and over on Hillcrest and Ridge Streets and then by the time they got done with all the rich people’s houses, they were too tired, too broke, or too tired and too broke to come over to the west side of town and visit our lowly establishment.  For Pete’s sake, we had good stuff, dammit!  It’s not like we’re in the poorhouse.

Okay, end rant.  I just was not real patient with people this morning.  I mean, I was, it’s just that I was dissatisfied with how long they were taking to get out to our house.  Our biggest crowd consisted of four people who happened to wander in at the same time.  And then there was one lady who came in with her kids and her son was just a terror!  He was tearing things apart all over the place and she really wasn’t a lot better, but then she was just like, “Well, come on, we’re going,” and didn’t reprimand him once or tell him to behave and keep his hands to himself or anything.  And then he wanted a toy and she wouldn’t buy it for him because it was part of a bag and he only wanted the one, so he threw a temper tantrum, clearly expecting it to work.  If I’d behaved like that, my mother would have given me the spanking of a lifetime when we got home.  She didn’t buy him the toy, at least, and I was glad when they were gone.

There were a couple people that came in like that, who were worse-behaved than the kids.  That always gets me.  This one gal came in with her sister and they were looking at Greg’s Jeff Gordon jacket.  The one woman ended up buying it, but her sister was trying to talk her out of it.  She used the very tips of her fingers to pick it up and look at it quick, and then she asked if we had any hand sanitizer she could use.  She dropped the jacket in a heap on the table and then brushed her hands together, as if the jacket was filthy and she couldn’t stand the thought of being contaminated by it.  She said if it had been a Dale Earnhardt, Jr. jacket, she would have been all over it like white on rice and I thought, “Gee, lady, aren’t you a little old to be acting like a middle schooler?”

Hmm, it seems that the battery in my laptop is about to go dead, so I should probably wrap this up.  I have a headache anyway and need to go take some more something for it.  Some food, perhaps; all I’ve had today were a handful of Mike & Ike’s and a few slices of summer sausage, washed down with a lovely bottle of Dr. Pepper, because clearly, I’m a health food junkie.

Oh, and happy Mother’s Day!

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